So as a necessary part of my job I have to read a whole bunch of news articles, and they usually have a bunch of links to random other articles at the bottom. One of these caught my eye on Friday, mainly because its headline read ‘Cheap American Beer PBR Marketed as High-End in China.’
Yeah, that PBR. The stuff you drink when you want to feel like a cheapskate or a hipster is selling for $44 a bottle in the great middle kingdom. For some perspective, the quilt and all those groceries I bought on Thursday came to a combined $38, so buying one PBR is a pretty substantial investment. For some more, consider that i make roughly $2.25 an hour and i’m pretty sure my wage is above the median. Needless to say i’m going to start poking around the liquor stores in my neighborhood in search of this stuff, if not to buy some then at least to take a picture to prove it exists. The article’s here: http://www.designtaxi.com/news/32525/Cheap-American-Beer-PBR-Marketed-as-High-End-in-China/
So in other news, it’s 4:00 on a Saturday and I have absolutely no plans. It’s a really weird vibe, actually. I got up around 11, played videogames with Connor for a while, fed myself and went grocery shopping, and now…
Yeah…
Plans for the rest of the day, as of right now: study some Chinese, eat dinner, sleep. Maybe this shouldn’t be as surprising at is. But since I got here, China has felt at least a little bit like it used to; I’ve always thought that life just moves faster here. I was busy constantly during the week, even without homework to worry about — with the commute on both ends, work + dinner covers 8am to 8pm, and at nights I’ve been either buying stuff to help me settle in, running errands, writing obnoxiously long blogs, that sorta thing. Last night I even got to go back over to Wudaokou and have a respectably fun night out with a bunch of English speakers (who unfortunately are now all cramming for finals) and things felt more or less like they did this summer. Sitting in my living room now, though, it’s becoming increasingly clear that things are pretty damn different.
Certainly, China hasn’t changed — so it must be that my attitude is starting to. Especially during the second half of this summer’s program, I remember this ever-present urge to go out and see everything there was to see. Time was limited, and hours in the dorm almost felt like hours wasted. With fifty friends and basically no homework, I’m sure any city can become one constant party but between the prices and the nightlife, Beijing was particularly conducive to the phenomenon. China was something to be beaten, a beast to be tamed, and if you weren’t out exploring it or at least getting drunk somewhere then you were missing out.
But now, I don’t know. It could be that I’ve got nine full weeks left, or it could be that it’s generally cold and dark outside. Maybe it’s because I don’t really have friends to share it with yet. It definitely isn’t like I’ve seen everything worth seeing, but at the end of the day for whatever reason that pressing need to go forth and conquer is conspicuously absent. China isn’t some big dirty disneyland anymore, it’s real life just like anywhere. Turns out that there isn’t anything inherent to the North Capital that means you can’t be lonely or bored; coming to terms with that means growing up a little bit, and doing that on demand is annoyingly difficult.
To be fair, I’m making a lot of adjustments all at once. I was already kinda reeling from ‘you are sorta a real person now, so you have to work and pay bills and stuff,’ and ‘you live alone for the first time in your life in a city where you know nobody, now go make friends with strangers’ without ‘you were in a bubble for three months and beijing’s not what you remember’ putting in its two cents, but now i’m just whining. Don’t read this wrong –I’m not depressed. I’m not even unhappy, and I sure as hell don’t plan on being a hermit for the next two months. But that’s not something that comes effortlessly anymore.
So I’ve got a request:
Help me out, please. Next time I’ve got a wide-open Saturday like this, what kinds of things should I do with it?
Answer in the comments: this serves two purposes. First, I’ll ostensibly get some suggestions regarding how to spend free time. Second, I *really* like getting comments on this thing because it in some way validates the time I spend writing it, so you’ll make me happy. Plus i have no idea if anyone actually reads this thing aside from my family, my plex roommates, and maybe jakob and chrissy, i think — so writing something below might give me a little better idea of who all actually reads the China Match.
If you comment I promise I won’t sell your email to anyone or whatever — if i could get rid of that requirement to comment then i would. you can just put like ‘x@x.com’ though and that’s just fine. If for some reason though you really don’t like commenting then shoot me suggestions for stuff to do next time we’re gchatting or skyping or whatever. Oh, and to clarify i’m not just looking for beijing-related stuff. could be any way to occupy time, social or no really. and even if you only see this post a month from now for whatever reason, suggestions will almost definitely still be welcome.
Thanks!
As I was reading this I was trying to think of stuff you could do in you free time and meet people at the same time… As I was thinking about it I realized how hard that really is in a new city where you don’t know anyone. At first I thought maybe you could go to a gym.. but I don’t know if they have those there and if they did you wouldn’t want to be friends with a bunch of meat-head asians haha. (But seriously, I don’t think they have gyms… I’ve seen about 4 ripped asians in my life) If you get really desperate you could consider looking to see if where you live has social clubs or something. Like people that just meet up and go to happy hours and stuff? haha idk that sounds a little sketchy but I’m writing out loud here. Maybe arcades? When I think of young people in china I picture them playing DDR in an arcade somewhere haha idk why… I think south park branded that into my mind or something. Ok, I realize this wasn’t helpful what so ever but I’ll keep thinking haha. In the mean time if your still really bored you can play ISketch? always good for a solid 30 mins of entertainment.
Kevin!
You should go to a park! (list: http://www.beijingimpression.com/beijing-attractions/Park.shtml) I like the sounds of that purple bamboo one even though apparently there isn’t any purple bamboo there. Lame. Or a museum! I just like doing those things. You should also rock up a teahouse or a concert of some sort. Travel to the country side! Enjoy a late night meal in a scenic area and think about life and stuff! Dance at a club! Karaoke! I saw this cool video about being alone you should do some of those things it makes being alone seem so fun! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs) Make wishes into wells! Look for fun or unique events! I’m sure there has to be something amazing going on in such an awesome place as Beijing right now. http://www.cityweekend.com.cn/beijing/events/
I’m always loving the blog and yeah I check it almost too religiously. I love knowing what’s going on in the life and minds of friends! Yay!
Kevin- first, as you already know, it’s natural to feel as you do. It’s a huge adjustment you’re making and you’re all alone. But right now you’re isolating yourself in your apartment.
On the weekends and after work get involved and try to learn- there still is a lot about Beijing and China you don’t know. For example, although you are agnostic you could visit a different expatriate church each Sunday. Those churches are under the government’s control, so it would be interesting to see how their sermons might differ from sermons in America. There, I also would speak to the preacher and ask about the relationship between the church and the government. Through the church you could meet interesting people and have meaningful conversations.
Other things you could do: find an organization and volunteer, take martial arts classes, try to get a job as an English tutor.
Basically, I would keep myself occupied in activities and try to meet people through those activities.
Also, of course I read your blog.
Kevin,
First off, I have really enjoyed reading your blog for 2011 (and some posts from last summer)! Second, I think your alternative task (beneath work, of course) is to find that Chinese girlfriend! Pretend your experience in China parallels that of a movie, and do something different (or the same) each day to find your woman. I thought about suggesting church, and I really liked what Anna had to say. At night, you could be the lone man at the bar–tall, mysterious, and handsome. Give certain girls a knowing look. Even if their boyfriends beat up on you, it would still make things interesting. Just kidding.
What did you do when you had friends there with you? Can you still do those things unaccompanied? Maybe the search for a particular girl can introduce you to other people you wouldn’t otherwise meet.
Sounds difficult… I think you ought to be a tourist again. Maybe if you join a tour group, by the end of those couple hours you may have made a connection with someone!
Hey dude. It’s not easy being alone in a big foreign city. I had the same reaction when I was in Paris after college, but Anna is right – you’re isolating yourself. That means you’re missing out on the cultural/sightseeing things there are still left to do, and you’re not meeting anybody. So –
1. Ascertain whether there is any NU exchange program in China this winter. Maybe history or geology or who knows what.
2. Put it on Facebook that you’re looking for social contacts in China and see how many degrees of separation it takes to start receiving contacts.
3. Find out if there’s a China or Asia NU alumni group that you could tap into.
4. If you didn’t bring the China travel books I gave you, go to fodors or frommers and make yourself a list of cool museums/sights to see, and just go do it.
5. Teach English. You’ll make money and make conversation and that’s good.
OK? If you want to spend one day in a week holed up in the apartment, no big deal. But you’ve only got 9 weeks left, you can go anywhere you want and you’re not beholden to what the group wants to do, and you have no idea when/if you’ll be back in China. It’s a field trip; don’t sit it out.
Love,
Mom
Ahhh you guys are all so awesome, thanks a ton! Definitely would not have thought a lot of this stuff on my own. Will do as much of it as possible and hopefully blog about it too.
I DON’T REALLY HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR YOU…BUT ONLY BECAUSE THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE BEFORE ME HAVE COVERED ALL THE BASES I WOULD HAVE. ESPECIALLY RACHEL. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STAND MYSTERIOUSLY AT A BAR AND GIVE “CERTAIN GIRLS” A “KNOWING LOOK.” PLEASE.
ALSO, I OBVIOUSLY READ YOUR BLOG. IT’S GREAT! KEEP POSTING (ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU START THE ‘DAILY ACTIVITY TO FIND THE CHINESE GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS’ THING–DEFINITELY LOOKING FORWARD TO THE POSTS ABOUT THAT).
You try to develop your Qi (Chi) while you are there. Like I always thought there ppl were out in parks and stuff doing like yoga like stretches and stuff you should do that to prepare for the bikram when you get back!
Alastair had a lot of the same suggestions I had haha (arcade and gym). I was also thinking maybe you could find a cooking class to learn how to cook asian food the right way…it might be similar to one held at whole foods or something of that nature.
Also your mom is on the right track with finding an alumni group from your school. My brother did that in both Boston and New York when he moved for school/job and they watch games together at bars and have a jolly old time. Don’t forget to have fun Kevin!
Hey man, I read your blog. Good stuff. You should meet some natives. Propaganda?
Checking out churches sounds like a cool idea.
If I had spare time, I would read books, but I guess you might not want to do that when you’re in China?
Bahaha I haven’t actually done a propaganda run yet. Will have to get on that. And yeah there’s some historical churches and stuff not too far, I was thinking of maybe going to see one this sunday actually. Also reading books is a completely fair call; I’m actually working my way through a book called “Country Driving” right now — it’s a travel log of sorts from a guy driving down the entire length of the great wall and just talking to people, and is really well done.
Anyway, good to know you’re reading, and if I wind up at propaganda I’ll ganbei a glass of something-that-is-hopefully-not-formaldehyde for ya (=